I haven't updated in over a month. A month and 11 days, actually. Some big things have happened with Katie, and it's taken me every moment of that time to soak it in and be able to talk about it without anger.
While it may be common knowledge that katie's dad and I don't get along-at all (in fact I think oil and water may get along better than he and I do), what isn't common knowledge is that for roughly the last year or so he has been trying to gain custody of our daughter. Sole custody. As in she live with him and I have weekend visitation, etc.
Some of you may be asking yourselves, "Why? Avery is a good Mom". While I do the best I can, I went through a rough spot emotionally the summer and fall of 2012. He decided to take these things, throw em in with a couple other accusations (some false, some extremely outdated or stretched), and use them against me to attempt to prove me unfit to have custody of Katie.
Moving on.
Our final court date on this issue was May 1, 2013. We were scheduled for a hearing/trial before the judge over our case. It didn't happen. Together, with our lawyers, we were able to come to an agreement outside of the courtroom.
For those of you who don't understand why I agreed to the set agreement (which I will describe as this post progresses), I'm going to explain what happened in that room, as best I can.
We sat down and he and his lawyer admitted they were no longer seeking custody of Katie, however, they wanted more visitation time.
Through discussion, we decided it would be best to wait in seperare rooms and allow our lawyers to go between. They made proposals, we countered, etc.
We finally came up with Katie staying with me through the school year, with her seeing her dad every other weekend, holidays, and certain days during Christmas and Spring breaks. And she goes there all Summer. She will be with me alternating weekends, 5/7 days, and she continues to play summer league softball in Fairfield as long as she stays interested. Of course there's a couple of other minor details that aren't as significant. So, there it is. Nothing else changes. Summer visitation is pretty much the only thing that changed.
Several people have questioned why I would agree to this. While I really want to simply say, "I'm her mom, you aren't.", I won't. It was actually a matter of unknowns: I could have taken my chances and said absolutely NO to anything they presented and gone through a full trial before the judge and risked losing custody of Katie; we could've gone before the judge and he could've ordered all sorts of other changes; we could've gone before the judge and he ordered she go there all Summer, no softball, no 5 days, nothing. In the big picture, I think the agreement really isn't too terrible, which is why I agreed to it.
It will be very good for their relationship to spend some extra time together. I'm actually kind of anxious to see how it goes.
It took Katie a couple weeks to warm up to the idea of being at Daddy's all Summer. At first, she was extremely opposed to the idea. Now, she's warmed up to it. She remembered that Daddy has a swimming pool and she'll be able to swim as much as she wants. (I remember when I was little and I loved going swimming so much, I can't even imagine if we'd actually had a " big" pool). Now she's started to be excited about it and I'm hoping that it will help make for an easier transition for both of us.
Maybe I'm being a little selfish here, but I'm kind of worried about how I'll do this summer. Katie and I are pretty much joined at the hip. I've asked to work extra hours and changed my availability some to help keep my mind off of my sidekick being gone. I'm thinking about maybe taking a class at FCC over the Summer, and I've resolved to get more active, and stay that way. I'm going to try "clean" eating, walking leading up to running, and getting and keeping my apartment spotless (ya, right!). Maybe I'll even find a guy to keep me busy. My primary focus when I don't have Katie and when I'm not at work, however, will be getting-and staying-healty.
In other news, softball practices have started and we are excited to start the season! Katie's first game is May 27 at 8pm.
We'll see what happens. "One day at a time" has become my motto for this Summer. I'm finally somewhat optimistic about it. It's a Summer of possibilities-for Katie and for Mommy.
